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In Singapore
Apart from those that work in shops, bars, restaurants and market stalls, I’m not sure when anyone works in China as there always seems to be a festival of some sorts. At least there does in Chinatowns the world over. Unless of course they just make them up for the Tourists, I can’t imagine Mao having let them have many, not the peasants at least ‘Sorry comrade this is the Ruling Elite getting incredibly rich at the expense of the masses festival - if your name’s not on the list you can’t come in.’ Today’s festival is in celebration of the Moon Cake, and it looks like being a big one. There are lights going up everywhere which would have put Bradford to shame at Diwali. Maybe these are just the Christmas lights going up three months early, or maybe they are from Chinese New Year and they are actually taking them down in readiness for the Christmas lights.
Outside an old guy is burning incense and praying at a makeshift shrine by the car park entrance to a shopping mall, or maybe he’s trying to burn it down. I’m sure there must be a law against naked flames in the street. After all it is illegal to cross the street within 100 metres of a pedestrian crossing, chew gum or leave the toilet seat up amongst many other things. There was me thinking the Europeans were insane when they wanted to ban British sausages and stop calling Cadbury’s Dairy Milk “chocolate” because it didn’t contain the requisite amount of cocoa solids. Actually the toilet seat law isn’t true but failure to flush is an offence although how would they know it was you? If you’re dying for a pee you’re hardly likely to go running off to find a policeman to dob someone in whilst some less worthy citizen with a weaker bladder potentially destroys the evidence are you?
Thai travel
The highlight of the journey reminds me of a Two Ronnie's sketch. ‘Here is the news. Today a lorry carrying sardines overturned on the road from Satun to Krabi. No-one was hurt but the police are examining the road for signs of something fishy.’ It also reminds me of travelling around India seeing lots of small trucks carrying what looked like enormous sacks of rice. The loads were so large that they seemed to extend beyond the truck in every direction. You couldn’t help wonder how they managed to travel those awful potholed roads without overturning, until one day we had to make a detour around an overturned rice truck. Of course, had it collided with the sardine truck: ‘Today in Rajasthan, a rice truck collided with one carrying sardines. A police spokesman said they hope to have the road cleared soon and would not
be making a meal out of it.’
Wat Thai?
The cave temple itself doesn’t look that impressive to me - that is from my vantage point outside, in fact it looks more like a rocky overhang than a cave as such. You have to take your shoes off to enter - it is a Buddhist Temple, but I value my shoes. There’s the street kids of the macaque world running around outside fighting over trophies - mostly shoes. Maybe Mike Oldfield has been for a visit as one appears to be trying to play a tubular bell.
Later we watch one of these urchins mug a schoolgirl. The kids were watching the macaques and vice versa. These were city kids and not aware of the rules out here. As soon as a bottle of banana flavoured milk appears, so does the raiding party and the girl doesn’t get her drink. What’s more it’s one of those plastic bottles with a foil seal that’s really annoying when you’re thirsty and can’t get the damn thing open. This macaque has had plenty of practice and has it open almost before the girl realises what’s happened, and the poor baby still clinging to mums chest has to make do with mum flavoured milk as she isn’t sharing.
Thai Food
It looks just like Pizza Hut, but it’s called Pizza Hat or Pizzas r Us or something like that, and it’s full of pale skinned overweight Thai people – especially kids. Funny how trying to be like westerners they manage it in so many ways. The only fat kids we saw in India were also in a pizza restaurant. Pizza Hut in Agra to be precise. Don’t get me wrong, we love Indian food but after three weeks of two or even three spicy meals a day, we were dying for pizza. Yes that does include breakfast on a few occasions. Donna actually ordered beans on toast one morning for a change and ended up with curried beans!
Hilltribe Trekking
Sitting on the veranda admiring the view we begin to realise that maybe the village isn’t quite as traditional as we thought. The solar panels and satellite dishes are a bit of a giveaway, and the people coming and going on motorbikes wearing western clothes. At least we could be sure that this was a genuine Akha village and not some plastic people put on show for the tourists. The motorbikes were a bit of a mystery though. We obviously didn’t come to the village by the main road.
Myanmar
When we finally get to the town centre, we step off the truck into the Twilight Zone. The truck stops almost right at the border – I guess no-one comes here to visit Mae Sae itself, although the main street is just like any other Thai street – that is apart from the enormous concrete building come archway straddling the road. We proceed through the arch to immigration. It’s a lot easier getting out of Thailand than it was getting in. The actual border at this point is the Mae Nam Sai River, but its not exactly the Rio Grande or even the Rhine or Danube. This river separating nations is more like the River Avon as it flows through Bath.
In the no mans land of the bridge, flags of both nations fly, hawkers try to sell their wares and we meet the first Burmese beggars. Kids swim in the river below, but are they Thai or Burmese? So many other questions go through my mind. Which country maintains the bridge, or do they go halves? What if no-one does? What happens if it collapses? ‘I though you were checking it was ok?’ ‘Well I thought you were.’ Who built it in the first place and did they need a passport to go into no-mans land to do it? If it does collapse and people are killed, where will the survivors be buried? Just checking you’re still paying attention. Do the beggars and hawkers have to get their passports stamped to go halfway? Do they even have passports? What are they doing here anyway? The town of Tachileik in Myanmar is at the other end of the bridge, a less ostentatious arch announces the Union of Myanmar. Buildings on both sides of the bridge overhang the river and it looks almost as though you could jump from one side to the other.
Most traffic crossing the bridge is on foot. This is just as well, as half way across, we have to cross from the left to the right in readiness for the rules of the road in Myanmar. Yes, Thailand drives on the proper side whilst Myanmar goes with the right. Myanmar immigration is also on the right. What a scam, or rather brilliant money making enterprise this is. We are relieved of 1000 baht between us – about what we’ve been paying for four nights accommodation, and our passports. In exchange we’re given a flimsy piece of cardboard which constitutes our visa to enter Myanmar. I wonder what would have happened if we wanted to stay longer.
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